I gotta wonder, when every doctor you go to tells a different story from the other. Soo, I end up arriving at work later than usual. I come for my drama students, the work piles up around me, but my senior students do keep me on track, purely by keeping my spirits up. I'm constantly amazed at how brilliant these kids are from one day to the next, don't get me wrong, I'm not some bullshit idealist teacher who believes that all students are amazing. But many of them are, it seems as though as soon as I lose faith in them they blow me away. However, here is where I get lost... I am constantly providing creative thoughts and problem solving for my students. so much so that my own work gets put by the wayside and left behind. Maybe, just maybe this is why I am feeling so bereft of ideas, becuase I give them all away. But if I was to live with my art and be a designer or come what may... isn't this what I would be doing.... giving my ideas away again and again. On another note, I must be honest with myself that I am a bit nervous with the current trend of environmental fractions that have been occuring, so just this year we have ahd over 5 eaerthquakes/ major ones, cyclones, floods, mudslides, mega snow and many others. Is it just me or is it getting more and more likely that we are falling into an iceage? VEry excited to hear that with the deepest core samples that they have taken, they have discovered that the poles were once tropical. HAH!!! another thing to support the theory that the poles shift before every ice age that we as a world have fallen into.. Think about it peoples, think about it. I'm getting my super warm gear together, lol, cause I have so much these days..... Fuckin fires. My final point for the day, I want to come back to and explore further in future is relating to Doidges, "The brain that Changes itself" do something good for yourselves, read this book, it'l change your mind. Faith.... that is what I need more faith in myself, I create things and then have to find the flaws, I create myself and have to find the flaws, but I can change, and I need to start with appreciating my own abilities a bit more. I am talented, not a boor and not useless.... trust yourself Elena, trust yourself.
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